The Weight of Words: Trading Functional Verbs for Flavorful Prose

Every author relies on a "placeholder" vocabulary—a set of invisible words that help us get the story onto the page during a first draft. We use words like start, have, and need because they are functional; they bridge the gap between two points of action without slowing us down. However, as we move into the self-editing phase, we realize that these functional words can lose their luster, flattening the prose and distancing the reader from the heart of the storytelling.

In editing circles, these are called "ghost verbs." They aren’t grammatically wrong, but they act as buffers, softening the impact of your narrative. By identifying these common culprits and swapping them for more evocative alternatives, you can move past basic description and really pull the reader into the story.

The "False Start" Narrative (Start/Begin)

This is perhaps the most common filler in fiction.

• The Issue: Authors often write, "He started to run" or "She began to cry."

• The Fix: Unless the character is interrupted mid-motion, they didn't start to do anything—they just did it.

• The Edit:

  • Draft: "He started to reach for his gun."

  • Polished: "He lunged for his holstered Smith & Wesson."

    
    

The "Telling" Trap (Have/Need)

The words have and need are functional, but they lack flavor.

• The Issue: These words describe a state of being rather than an action or feeling.

• The Fix: Look for the emotion behind the "need" or the physical reality of the "have."

• The Edit:

  • Draft: "She had a look of terror on her face."

  • Polished: "Terror etched itself into her features."

  • Draft: "He needed a drink."

  • Polished: "He craved the burn of cheap whiskey."

    
    

The "Filtering" Fog (Look/See/Feel)

• The Issue: These words create a buffer between the reader and the sensory detail, reminding them they are reading a story rather than living it.

• The Fix: Remove the observer and describe the observation directly.

• The Edit:

  • Draft: "I looked at the messy table."

  • Polished: "Coffee rings and crumbs cluttered the weathered wood."

    
    

The "Generic" Move (Go/Went/Move)

• The Issue: "Go" is a stage direction. It gets a character from point A to point B but tells readers nothing about how they feel.

• The Fix: Use the movement to reveal mood or stakes.

• The Edit:

  • Draft: "He went across the room."

  • Polished: "He paced the floorboards," or "He slunk into the shadows."

    
    

The "Emotional" Distance (Feel/Felt)

• The Issue: Using "felt" tells the reader the emotion but skips the actual experience of it.

• The Fix: Show the physical reaction or the internal shift.

• The Edit:

  • Draft: "She felt a sudden chill in the air."

  • Polished: "A cold draft raised the hair on her arms."

The "Thinking" Buffer (Thought/Knew/Wondered)

• The Issue: These words act as a narrator's bridge instead of letting the reader stay inside the character's head.

• The Fix: State the thought as a direct observation or a fact.

• The Edit:

  • Draft: "He thought he heard a footstep in the hall."

  • Polished: "A floorboard creaked in the hall."

The "Sound" Label (Hear/Sounded)

• The Issue: Labeling a sound ("It sounded like...") adds an extra layer of distance.

• The Fix: Let the sound stand on its own.

• The Edit:

  • Draft: "I heard the thunder rolling in the distance."

  • Polished: "Thunder rumbled against the distant hills."

Put your manuscript to the test.

Editing isn’t just about fixing errors; it’s about intention. Your first draft is so you can find the story, but your review process is where you find the music. The next time you’re sitting down for a self-edit, don’t feel like you have to tackle the whole book at once. Pick one chapter and run a “Find” (Ctrl+F) for ghost verbs like started, began, or felt. You’ll be surprised by how many times you can simply delete these placeholder words to turn a flat sentence into a vivid moment. By identifying these common culprits and swapping them for more precise, expressive alternatives, you can close the gap between your reader and the heart of your story.

Take a look at your current work-in-progress today. Choose just one chapter and see if you can trade those ghost verbs for actions that carry more weight. By removing the distance, you allow your readers to stop watching the story and start living it.